


Boys Don't Cry

by BeePls (nerdybumblebee)



Category: Psych
Genre: Other, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-03
Updated: 2017-12-03
Packaged: 2019-02-10 02:51:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12902376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdybumblebee/pseuds/BeePls
Summary: Shawn was always an outspoken guy, especially to his father. Even as a little boy.One-shot. Coming out story.





	Boys Don't Cry

1986

Shawn Jerome Spencer.

Shawn Harrison Spencer.

Shawn Stone Cold Steve Austin Spencer.

He let out a frustrated groan, crossing out his chicken scratch before throwing his pencil across the room. Another brave soldier lost to the pile growing in front of his closet. Shawn just laid his head on his desk and felt like he might cry. Boys don’t cry. He just sniffled, screwing his eyes shut as he hummed in aggravation. This shouldn’t be so hard. It was just a middle name. A mostly useless thing that didn’t actually matter. People weren’t supposed to know anyway. That was the point… But it did matter. It mattered to Shawn. He heard his father’s voice in the back of his head. “Alright. I’ll take you to the courthouse. We’ll get this settled. But we’re getting it all settled. You got me?”

He looked up, sniffling and seeing himself in the mirror on the back of his door. Lopsided, impromptu haircut and a baggy Scooby Doo shirt from a cousin in Napa he never met. He couldn’t help but smile a little, wiping the tears from his eyes and pushing down the new cowlick he wasn’t yet used to.

He really had been lucky, with regards to how they took it. His mom was the sweet, protective psychologist. Of course she knew statistics of children who can’t trust their parents. Knew how dangerous it was for someone who didn’t know how to be themselves. Of course she hugged her son and told him that it was okay. 

He wasn’t worried about her. It was his father that worried him. Old fashioned guy. Dedicated Boy In Blue.  
Shawn’s lip trembled as Maddie gently pushed him towards Henry as the man read his paper in the den. He looked at Shawn and gave a little smile. “Hey, █████ ! What can I do for you?”

“I,” he began, voice already cracking as he looked back to his mother. Her only response was a smile and a thumbs up. Shawn turned back to Henry, feeling his chest tighten. His voice was broken, and nearly silent. “That’s not my name..”

Henry’s brows knitted together and he set the paper down. “Oh?” he asked, glancing up to Madeline before watching her motion to their child silently, a stern look on her face. Henry looked at her for a second before looking back down at Shawn. “What do you mean by that?” 

This was it. He felt tears well up and mentally cursed himself. Boys don’t cry. “I. My name…” He swallowed and looked down. He was too afraid to look anywhere else. “My name is Shawn. And I…” He wasn’t able to continue. There were no cheap jokes to cover it up. No gags he could rely on. All he could do was stand there frozen, shaking as he tried to hold in his tears. 

“Hm.” It was a quick sound. More of a gut reaction then anything else. Henry let it hang in the air for a minute, seeing how truly stunned his child was before nodding and looking down at his badge. “I might not do too well on my detective exam after all.”

Shawn hesitantly looked up, jaw clenched shut for a minute before looking close at him. “What?”

“Well, I’ve lived with you for nine years,” Henry said matter of factly, standing up with a grunt and going over to squeeze Shawn’s shoulder. “Didn’t even know you were a boy. My own son.”

“Your son?” His voice cracked, but for a second, he didn’t even care about the pitch. He just stared up at Henry with wide eyes, fist clenching and unclenching. He was waiting for the punchline. The backlash. Anything. Just not Henry picking him up and holding him against his chest. 

“That is what you’re telling me, isn’t it? That your mother picked out the wrong cake for our baby shower? See, Maddie? I told you pink wouldn’t be his color.”

Shawn just clung to his father’s shirt, burying his face into Henry neck and crying loudly. Henry just rubbed his back, helping him get it all out. He wasn’t normally one for big shows of emotion, but he could make an exception. “Hey, it’s okay,” he murmured. “I’m here. I got you. I’m always gonna be here. Always.”

Always. 

Shawn smiled as his cowlick popped back up. Maybe if he spiked his hair, that would help. He could get a lot of gel. Unlike Stone Cold Steve Austin. 

He was interrupted by a knock at his door, barely having a chance to answer as his father strode in with a Twinkie and a can of Tab. “These normally help you at homework time. When you do your homework… How’s the hunt?”

“Wellll,” Shawn mumbled, eyes glancing towards the pile of pencils. “It’s-”

“Is that where all my pencils went,” Henry asked, voice raising just slightly. “That was a new pack! Dammit, ██ - Shawn. Shawn. I’m sorry, Shawn.” 

Shawn winced. He swallowed before taking a breath. He knew it was a mistake. There was genuine remorse in Henry’s voice, and Shawn just nodded slightly and rested his hand on Henry’s. “It’s okay,” he said quietly, taking the snacks before going to pick up the pencils. “I promise. I still do it too, sometimes. Which is weird!” He knitted his brows together as he dropped the pencils on the desk. Did that mean he wasn’t really a boy? He couldn’t help but feel nauseous at the thought.

Henry just gave a small smile, shaking his head. “Eh,” he said, voice tired and dismissive as he went to collect the pencils from the desk. They were his, after all. “We’ll get used to it... “

“Yeah,” Shawn said, focusing more on the Twinkie wrapper than his father. But he stopped once it ripped open. “I… I think I figured it out, though.”

Henry looked up from his task. “Really?”

A nod. “Can we go tomorrow?”

A smile. “First thing.”

Shawn Henry Spencer.


End file.
